A new challenge

If you don't get everything you want, think of the things you don't get that you don't want. 
 
Oscar Wilde



Well I got my results of the scan. I had prepared for the worst and was still hoping for the best. I got something in between. The great news is that I have no new signs of disease, so it has not spread to other parts of my body. The not so great news is that unfortunately my chemo doesn't appear to be doing the job that it was doing anymore. 2 of my tumours are starting to grow again. It's assumed that these are the tumours which were originally found 16 months ago as it makes sense that the older (wiser) ones have learned to fight against the chemo. They are still small but for how long? I am disappointed as I was hoping to continue with my existing regime and essentially eek out more time on one of my lifelines. The list of drugs which can be used is by no means endless and it feels a bit like ticking one off and taking a step closer to death. However, I am determined not to get too down about this as it also potentially opens up other doors. I was told back in October that because my tumours were so small that it would probably be difficult to have radio frequency ablation. So in  a way you could say that this little growth spurt now enables me to become a candidate for this treatment. So maybe I should be thankful for it (every cloud...). I have also started the LDN and within just a few days I have a noticeable difference in my joint and bone pain, wow I am hoping it is having the same effect on these bastard tumours, who knows. All I know is that I am merely going to view this is a new chapter in my life with cancer. I am seeing my consultant today and we will discuss the next steps. The road is still (fairly) long I think. All I can do is travel that road one day at a time.