Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her: but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game.
Voltaire
I'm feeling good today, the sun is shining. I love summer and today fills me with hope that it is imminent. I haven't blogged for a while, not for any particular reason, just not that much to say I suppose. I'm still on my chemo and yesterday I had number 29. It's nothing short of remarkable in my opinion. From being told that I most probably wouldn't cope well with the 18 weekly cycle to this, we are truly individual. I also have an appointment next week to see the thoracic surgeon. It's 18 months since my secondary diagnosis and I still have no new disease, this is such good news and I am keeping an open mind to what my future holds. I try not too get too excited as I don't want to get too disappointed but on a sunny day like today I feel pleasantly optimistic. I am also continuing to take my LDN and just my faith in that keeps me feeling brighter each day, time will tell if this faith is merited, in the meantime it can do me no harm. I've actually been thinking a lot about taking responsibility for my own treatment and find it hard to understand why more people don't. I met a woman recently who has a similar diagnosis to myself. Her disease is under control just now but we were chatting about how uncertain life is living with secondary cancer. I told her about the LDN with great enthusiasm and was certain that she would be as excited as me by this potential wonder drug. The reality was that she wasn't. She listened to me and I insisted on writing things down for her but I was left with a certain knowing that she most likely wouldn't follow up. Each to their own, that is indisputable but it does make me wonder. When you're told that you will die from your cancer why not try everything, that's my philosophy anyway and it helps me in lots of ways. It is empowerment I guess and that means a lot to me. I refuse to be passive in anything in my life and I will not give up fighting this disease. I would also take this opportunity to ask anyone who reads this to look into LDN as it really does have amazing properties for all sorts of illnesses particularly auto immune conditions. Anyway, today is a good day and I am very conscious of being thankful for the life that I have and indeed the determination that I have to keep it.
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