May, she will stay
Resting in my arms again
Paul Simon, April Come She Will
I love the month of May. It brings hope and promise. Promise of the summer ahead, sunny days and good feeling. May is a time for optimism, blind, eternal faith. Sadly it often tricks us and the promises are unfounded the rest of the summer but I still love it. It sums up the way I feel. I kind of know that my future could be a broken promise but I refuse to believe it. I am currently doing work in my garden and I'm very excited about how it will look soon. I'm equally working on my mind. This is the key to keeping sane. Although the sun is hidden this morning (but I am hopeful for cloud dispersion) I have been up since six. Just doing little jobs around the house and generally feeling good. I don't waste days anymore. If I wake up early and don't feel too crap, I get up. I do this because I value the day and I especially value the ones where I feel good. Adverse circumstances, including death serve a purpose. They serve to remind us to live and take what pleasures we can. So I attended a funeral on the cusp of my very special month and I tried to remember that no matter what, it is our duty to live to the fullest capacity. The sun came out for Jordan on Tuesday and hundreds of people said goodbye. Experiencing the death of someone so young brought me hope, hope that there is something else once we die and in a way it chipped away some of my fears about my own future. I am due a scan and I will be on a rollercoaster ride again the next couple of weeks but I refuse to be scared. May is the month for optimism and for believing that anything is possible.
No comments:
Post a Comment