Keeping it simple...

There is no greatness where there is not simplicity
Tolstoy

Very few people in Scotland like the idea of the term NED being used to describe them. I am not one of them. In the cancer world the term means No Evidence of Disease. This is my status today. Having had successful lung surgery the last evident piece of cancer was removed from my body. How amazing. 3 weeks ago today Mr Kirk (surgeon extraordinaire) spent a couple of hours checking out my insides and managed to take out the only piece of cancer he could find. I got my pathology report of this cancer yesterday and as expected it was the same pathology as was removed during my second breast surgery. The great news was that there were clear margins, which simply means that the tissue surrounding the tumour had no traces of cancer in it. So what does all of this mean? A good question and one with no clear answer. Am I cured? NO. Am I free of chemo? NO. Will I be free to go on and live a completely normal life? NO. All sounds a bit negative doesn't it.? NO. Not to me. 2 years ago I could not have imagined being told I was NED. For these 2 years I have become very accustomed to my very altered life, a life which requires a lot of effort in order to hang on to it. However, here's the thing, when diagnosed with incurable cancer all that matters is that you stay alive, and you really don't mind the how of it. If it means having intravenous chemo every week, having no hair and just as little energy then its ok, you are alive. For the moment as I am NED, this will not be my experience, however, the most difficult part of it all will remain with me for life. That is, the not knowing and of course the 12 weekly scans. So while I will not go to chemo clinic in the next months I will go for scans. For so many weeks every year I will be filled with fear. Fear that my scan shows the return of the cancer. It will not be a surprise to anyone if that turns out to be the case down the line. Therefore it is imperative that I continue to foster the "living in the day" philosophy. Truly live life one day at a time. As I have said before it is a strategy that would benefit anyone in this world regardless of their health status but for me it is essential. Living with secondary cancer really encourages you to make the most of life. There wont be a day for me when I am given the "all clear" my life will simply be NED or ED. For the moment its the former and I couldn't be happier and more grateful. So in the spirit of this I am going out to enjoy the beautiful late summer sun, like my good health, who knows how long it will last so best enjoy it while I can, simple really.