Weary...

Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.

 

Helen Keller

As a lady of leisure at the hotel I have rather a lot of time on my hands so I have been reading through some of my old blogs. How weird, to travel through all of my different emotions from week to week. Overall though they strengthen my positivity, as I realise how much cancer actually brought to my life, SERIOUSLY!

What I also took from it was that I regularly talked about various other routes to take. It got me thinking and I am probably wrong, that to some it may seem that I have given up as I am not researching and planning. In fact, I do have a couple of things up my sleeve, but the thing is, I am very realistic and I see no point in building false hope for me my daughter or anyone else. I repeat I have not given up hope I am just very at peace with my situation. I think it is hard for others to understand how tired I am. I have pretty much been on chemo for 3 years I have now had a hell of a lot of my brain function destroyed and I have lived a very uncertain life since September 2012, it's a long time. I am tired. I am currently very happy to be alive and I have a decent quality of life but I just thought I would share my truth because as I always say that is what this blog is all about.